1) Zyprexa (I take 2.5mg once at night)
2) Lexapro (10mg once at night)
3) Rivotril (0.5mg once at night)
4) Aripiprazole, or as I learned is more popularly known as Abilify (5mg once at night)
These medications have been helping with subduing the voices in my head and the restlessness, but I still suffer from the occasional lows and sleeplessness.
So I thought today I'd write.
I have to say I'm not the most affectionate person around. Sometimes I am awkward when it comes to social situations; I'm not always bouncy and happy. And when it comes to the person I love (like my fiance), I just don't know how to show emotions. I can't tell everyone that I love him, in fact most times I tell people that he irritates me, or he makes me want to jump down a building (which is true at certain times), but the point is, I just don't know how to show emotions sometimes and it makes me feel dead inside when I'm not.
This is probably why I love acting so much. It allows me to release whatever I feel or able to feel without the fear of being judged.
Bring me back to a time when life was happier, when I could see the world through black tinted glasses and still smile.
Why bring you back to a happier time when you can create your own happiness??? Don't look back and regret about the stuff you had done or never did but instead live life the way you like it and never look back. I know it will be hard so at least try your best, ok? Never ever give up.
ReplyDeleteWhen it's hard for you to show affection towards your fiance, why don't you try to write him a note to tell him that you love him while he is sleeping? that way, you will feel better. You can even write your feelings or your thoughts of that day to him. (when you feel hard to tell him face to face)
You can do it, girl. Keep fighting!!! Show the world that people with bipolar and bulimia can be cured...
"You’ve been provided with a perfect body to house your soul for a few brief moments in eternity. So regardless of its size, shape, color, or any imagined infirmities, you can honor the temple that houses you by eating healthfully, exercising, listening to your body’s needs, and treating it with dignity and love..."
Walter Bagehot said: "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."